A real thing.

here you can find charts and drawings of how cool fine and rad stuff is. aren't you glad I did not perish in that hotel fire up in Anchorage? I got some cool Star Wars stuff from that.

Friday, November 30, 2018

day 30 pt 1: portal ritual

The Tower of Terror, my first choice, wasn't built until 1994. Nuts to it all. Space Mountain is fine though, heck why not. Ace Ventura also would not be released until '94, and while the phrase "well alrighty then" did conceivably exist before that time... it didn't exist before that time. THE EARLY 90S IS SUCH A WAY DIFFERENT PLACE YOU HAVE NO IDEA.





The doorway magic. 
They started the ritual just after breakfast, or more like in the middle of it; Moone ate the second half of his bagel on the way. Everything had been packed, and the eight of them stepped over slimy rocky ground into a clearing where a tall building stood, battered but intact. Unwin didn't say where they were going, but that all would become clear once they got there; they would travel by opening up a portal.

There were only a limited number of Doors one could conjure in a lifetime, Unwin explained, opening the (non-magical, building) door and letting the others pass. And he himself had used up all of his. Moone was surprised; he had heard nothing of this, Doorway opening leaving a mark on the soul in the same way wishes and oaths did. How would they--

Then Unwin closed the door gently behind him, fully inside now, and conjured up a Door.

How? Because, Unwin explained: now he was indoors, and before that, he was out-of-doors.

Okay then.

Moone frowned. He had great reason to believe that the doorway conjuring magic was based around making incredibly lame puns. This was one that was so terrible that it engulfed you like a creeping horror, like a wound that you can't feel when it gets made and don't notice until you're already halfway bled out. It took time to fully appreciate the awfulness of this awful pun. It was momentous. Maybe magically so.

Moone remembered when the Djinngate was opened, SEAMUS had said something in Persian when he conjured it, Moone had assumed an incantation but remembered having been confused the way the man had cackled to himself after he had uttered it, assuming further that it had been some kind of ancient magic and that SEAMUS had sacrificed some tiny portion of his sanity in order to open the doorway up. But no, apparently, apparently the man was just laughing at his own joke.

Everyone stepped through, one by one.

florida feels
Moone remembered going to Space Mountain once, at Disney World, Walt Disney World Magic Kingdom Tomorrowland Space Mountain A Journey Through Time and Space Presented by RCA, being perturbed that there was a teenage couple making out in the lobby and just really going at it, and Moone looking around and apparently being the only one bothered by it, but deciding to say something nonetheless- and approaching them, it was just a pair of audio animatronics, and apparently part of the ride for some reason. But looking it up later, it was not part of the ride. And the next time he went to Space Mountain, everyone there was an audio animatronic. And the time after that, everyone at the whole theme park was an animatronic. Moone had basically avoided Florida from that point on, fearing the entire state would turn into an animatronic puppet for the duration of his visit, but here it didn't seem so bad. Maybe it was limited to the city of Orlando.


babel etymology
"You know, technically this isn't the Tower of Babel. Yet, I mean. It won't get the name until after God casts it down and scatters everyone's language. That's where it gets the name 'babel,' according to the Hebrew Bible, is the scattering part. So..."

"Huh. I guess. What we gonna call it then, Disneyland?'

"Gotham actually works, I think."

Moone stood still, a blank ghastly expression on his face. "I think we're good."

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