introspective birthday interlude

It's my birthday, and my gift to myself is, not needing to write right now. Liek srsly, the only gift I'm getting today- no surprise parties or anything. I just, stayed in and watched Parks and Rec, and then they showed Beyond Thunderdome on Syfy. My own failure of getting a post up seems correlated to how much television I watch that day- but there can't be any causation there, not at all.

More writing I'll need to do in the car on the way home for Thanksgiving. Expect, a couple of posts, maybe even three, that day.

Feeling kind of weird on my birthday. Figured I would have done more by this point in my life. I guess that's how even accomplished people feel. Not having a party or anything just left the day naked, and its uncomfortable privates, that terrible secret, was left bare for me to examine. (I did get $49.95 in money, to buy myself a gift. My brother wrote on his blog about Reuel's birthday, but not mine. They sang happy birthday to me only when I brought it up, at my family home evening group thanksgiving party.)

But it's Nanowrimo, and that's forcing me to get things accomplished. I wrote a lot about this in my diary, a private Google Doc that started out as notes for a project, which gradually dragged more aspects into my life until now it's just a straight-up diary. I post about once a month, when I've got deep feelings to personal to share on my other blog. And I wrote today some.

But the power went out as I was wrapping up, on my laptop randomly, and that's partly why I'm not writing a true Nanowrimo entry today, because that outage left me without enough time to get in my wordcount today anyway so whatever.

I went out to go take a walk, and I thought about Dead Alligator Lizard. I thought a lot about my mission today, as I explain in my regular blog, and Dead Alligator Lizard is an awesome awesome book that happens to have been written by the father of a companion of mine. I spoke to him on the phone once, briefly, and he seemed nice, and, busy I guess, kind of out-of-breath when I spoke to him. The phone call was about maybe adapting the book for another medium, illustrating it or turning it into a comic or something, but he said they didn't really have the money to pay me - he knows that artists need payment for their work, because apparently he's been underpaid before.

And so I realized, I'm shaping up to be a lot like Karl G Rose, thumb in so many pies, always on some new project or another. He couldn't pay me at that time because they'd just gotten a new, quiltmaking machine I think, going into some quiltmaking business, something like that. How much is that like me!

And Nanowrimo's giving me focus. Forcing me onto this one project. In my diary I write about, I need a wife like that, but anyway. That was a way helpful walk. This is a way helpful month.

Tooth fairy stuff tomorrow.